1 in 88, 1 in 4, how many will that be?

I belong to an online mom group on Facebook and it currently has over 800 members. Although I have never met most of these moms in person, we have shared lots of moments together, experiences from our pregnancy through dealing with the men in our lives now that we are mommies of young babies. It's a fun group and of course with that many women there's bound to be some drama. Mostly it's a group of women who have bonded over the experience of becoming a mom. Yet as we approach the 18 months milestone, I am thinking about Autism and all things Spectrum. Well I am thinking about it more than usual.

There are 846 members in the group with about 860 babies (twins). Let's assume for simplicity that we are all from the U.S.A. (we are not, it is an international group). Now let's apply the latest CDC Autism statistics; 1 in 88 children, 1 out of 54 boys, and 1 out of 252 girls are diagnosed with ASD.  http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/data.html/ 10 children from our group will be diagnosed with Autism.

10 babies. Each time someone posts a question about a delay, walking on their toes, hitting their head, waving/flapping their hands, you know all that stereotypical stuff- I think about these stats. I don't reply or post anything because I don't want to feel like the grim ASD reaper. But I think it. You know why I think it? Because I used to be like these ladies! I used to celebrate the milestones, each new development, and I was perfectly happy in my blindness until someone forced me to confront ASD right before Christmas. So many things have changed since then, some good, some bad, some just different. It's been a journey for not just my son, but the family. Since then, I have become more seasoned and conversely more frightened. And yet, nothing has changed from my son's perspective. He's just as happy as he was in December. Well, perhaps he's happier because he's speaking more and able to communicate with us, which is such a wonderful thing. It truly is wonderful to be able to have a conversation with my son and discover that he's such a silly boy with a wondrous sense of humor.
And he's started school and now is starting to have friends. I know I'm using this word a lot but it truly describes how I feel- it is truly wonderful to see my boy blossoming and coming into his own.

I wish these 10 April babies wouldn't get diagnosed. I wish our group would be the anomaly, but I know this is not the case. So instead, I hope these babies get diagnosed before age 2 or at age 2. Because the sooner they have a diagnosis, the sooner they can start getting therapies. I hope these moms learn how to be their child's best advocate, how to navigate early intervention, how to best help their child. But I also hope these 10 babies get extra love and attention, because they have a long uphill battle ahead of them. My girls are 16 months old and as we approach 18 months, I wonder what the future will hold for my girls and for all the other April babies?

I also want to tell these moms, my online friends, that things will get easier, that some things will remain harder, that at least they'll have resources, not to lose hope. But again, I remind myself- this will be a journey for their baby, for their family. No amount of words or warning will ever be able to adequately define the emotional journey that the diagnosis brings. For some, the diagnosis will be a confirmation and perhaps even a relief to know what is causing the different behaviors in their baby. For others, like us, the diagnosis will come with no warning and will absolutely floor them. For others, this journey will be a repetition- because some of us already have a child on the spectrum. Will it be easier? In some ways, since we know where to go to get the diagnosis and how to get the services started. But in other ways, no- not easier just a reality.

In the meantime, I'll keep reading posts and try not to assume everything is caused by Autism, I'll stop layman diagnosing, I'll stop being the Autism reaper. Instead, I'll go back to being a mom of 3. Wow, 3- it happened overnight it seems. I'm really hoping my girls hit their milestones on time and that Apple catches up developmentally. But you know what, regardless of what 18 months old looks like for us-- I know my girls are happy and that makes everything perfect doesn't it?