Birthday party

      JD & I went to a NT birthday party last night for an old friend's son who happens to also be my godson. We used to be very close and have drifted after a falling out. So last night was going to be awkward for me. He didn’t nap and it was after 7 which isn’t a good time for us, and blah, blah. In other words, I had some misgivings about attending. I didn’t want to disappoint a 5 year old boy though so we rushed out and went.  

      I spent most of the night redirecting, focusing, reigning in, chasing, while trying to prevent a meltdown or confrontation with him-- like chasing a chicken. Integration is important, it’s how he'll learn and grow. Its important to me that he have NT friends. We're not going to live in an isolated bubble. Autism birthday parties are so much easier though because everyone there gets it, we don't worry about awareness or tolerance, judgment. If you’re an autism parent, you get what I’m saying right? It’s a totally different experience.

      He didn’t engage, he had little proprioceptive sensors, poor impulse control, poor sensory processing, poor communication skills. It was while he was lamely batting at the piñata in front of very athletic kids that I let it go. I stopped worrying that he wasn’t enjoying the experience. He was flapping his hands, stomping his feet, his bubbly laugh and his smiling blue eyes as he spun in circles. He was having fun and that’s all I care about.

     As we were leaving and saying good bye, JD had some quiet time to chat with the birthday boy. They both played with some new toy. My boy engaged and had a conversation! For me it was a special moment. For the kids, just a regular whatever moment. Integration is going to happen on his terms and once again my boy is teaching me.   Later that night my kiddo was laying in bed twirling my hair and said: "I had fun at B's birthday party. I love you mami. Can you lay with me tonight?” I’m glad we went. 

Sundae Night

     A while ago I did away with my to-do list that I posted on the fridge because it was stressing me out. Well today I made another one. But it’s in a notebook. That way I can "forget" I wrote it when I decide to embrace the craziness of toddler life or when it’s freaking me out because nothing is getting done. The to-do list for everything and the whole carry a notebook everywhere to write them was a little too OCD for me and honestly, it wasn’t making me any more organized. It was literally just stressing me out. I don’t think I’m meant to be so organized.  We live on schedules and routines, but sometimes I have to go a little "crazy" and be impetuous. We have the best of times when I embrace an impulse.

    

     I stopped to pick up a rotisserie chicken on the way home tonight. I walked right past the ice cream aisle “Oh what the hell” I thought, “why not?” My kiddo had been asking to make ice cream sundaes all week. It sounded like a nice family activity on Sunday. For some reason I always think Sunday should be family day.  I bought birthday cake ice cream flavor, all the fixings for sundaes, including real whip cream or so it promises on the can. But I forgot the walnuts according to my hubby. 

     When JD saw the ice cream and the bowls the hands started flapping and feet started stomping. Yup, happy excited tot. Sundae bar at the kids table for Sunday night dinner treat. Waffle bowls, plenty of ice cream, and yes it was messy because of course one of them broke their bowl. They loved it! Smiles all around. Never a dull moment! It is so fun to have three toddlers! You get to be a child sometimes right along with them. BTW—my to- do list is in the trash outside the Acme.