What Autism stole from us

Last week Photo day did not go well. He did not like the noise in the crowded room of a bunch of kids, a photographer getting them riled up (trying to get them to smile), and a room full of aides and assistants adding to the chaos (trying to help), and a powerful camera flash in his eyes. He would not sit down for the group picture. Just would not. So I picked him up and called it a day. I wasn't going to torture him so I could get a class picture. And I didn't want to ruin it for the others who were sitting. I was teary eyed. I won't lie. I was disappointed. That moment of group photos was added on the Crap Autism takes Away mental list. As my husband said, it's going to be a long list and we need to toughen up.

I carried him out of school and he kept on saying, "I'm sorry mami, I'm sorry." He was started to get upset. As I hugged him close and reassured him, it really wasn't a big deal anymore. He's made so much progress. He's speaking, he's learning proper pronouns, he's starting to read, he knows so much stuff, it's rather fun discovering my son's intelligence at this age. So Autism may have stolen a lot of moments that other "normal" parents take for granted and part of me will always be hurt by that fact. But I have to learn to appreciate the other stuff too-- well not the difficulty with transitions or 2 step directions-- the sweet stuff, the non autism sweet stuff this little boy is capable of. Possibilities. F the stupid Crap Autism Takes Away list.

P.S.
Later this school year before school is out, I'm going to go in and take a picture during recess of the kids playing around and being kids. That's a picture that I want to keep for his school album. I'll take some pictures with his teachers, his aide, his classrooom. He's used to me taking lots of pictures of them.