Yesterday I got kicked, spit on, yelled at, hit, had a
pumpkin thrown at me (a little one but still oww!), was told I didn't like him
and that I was scary (I've learned to tune this out because it's just his way
of expressing frustration), and the finale-- stripped of clothes and diaper and
peed on his bed so that he wouldn't have to nap. Never mind that we'd been
sitting on the potty for 10 minutes fighting for him to go potty. Potty
training is not going well but I refuse to quit. He will be potty trained; I
will not cave on this.
It was a horrendous day. It was Day 2 or 4 of migraine from
hell. I’ve been surviving with lots of tea or coffee and Excedrin. I can’t take
my usual Imitrex because I’m breastfeeding. So at lunch time (well my 3 pm
lunch time) when the kids were napping, I brought out the wine and has 2
glasses. It mellowed me out. Headaches are the worst. No, I take that back, you
know what’s the worst? Having your child screeching at you at the top of his
lungs, banging on doors and walls like a maniac. These rage fits—where are they
coming from? What the hell is causing them?
I wonder is this because he doesn’t want to use the potty?
Or is this neurological? My instinct is to take him to see the neuro because
these rages scare me. I’m scared he could really hurt himself. Frankly, I’m
scared I don’t have the tolerance or patience. Honestly, if this keeps up I
might need some medication—FOR ME and maybe him. I spent the day fluctuating
between practicing my “I’m not angry and must be emotionless” 1-2-3 magic
parenting style voice, crying in the bathroom, and wondering what the trigger
is. It seems to be potty training. Sigh. This is so difficult!
I’m putting him back on the digestive enzymes and
probiotics. We fell off our supplement regime and suddenly the rages are back.
In the meantime I’ll keep plugging away. But I’m hiding all the pumpkins. Those
suckers hurt! Oh today, the worst part was when I hyper extended my elbow and
JD proceeded to step on it. The pain was horrific and it still hurts. But he
really didn’t do it on purpose, he was oblivious to it.
Something odd- last night he was recapping his favorite part
of the day like we always do. His recap—he was telling me about something that
never happened. So does that mean he can’t remember what happened during the day? Does it mean the day’s
a big blank? See—that’s why I’m wondering if I should take him to a neuro, to
rule out seizures. But then today he apologized and gave me a hug each and
every time his fits of anger and meltdowns were over. So he’s aware of his
meltdowns. I dunno. I am clueless. Keep
on swimming. Not much else to do right?
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