Meltdowns and not Autism, I'm the bad guy here

2 Meltdowns in 3 days, what did they have in common? Overstimulated, tired, out of schedule. Today's meltdown was my fault. Friday's was my mom's. Both times my mom and sis couldn't handle seeing JD in meltdown mode. On Friday since it was on my turf- they ran out horrified of me and my "parenting style." Today, I ran out of their turf- just to get to a quiet place (the van) to get JD and me to regroup and relax. Dear Mom and Sis- this website explains meltdowns vs temper tantrums. Please read it and educate yourselves. I'm not making this crap up.

http://www.educationnews.org/articles/autism-meltdowns-verses-temper-tantrums.html

Apparently no one at my parents house approves of my parenting, the behavior therapy, or the strategies I employ to get JD to calm himself down while approaching Def Con Meltdown stage. Apparently, I am rude when I tell them to back the hell off and let me parent. I have one question for them that I never got answered. How helpful and understanding and yes how loving are you being to me and JD when you tell me: I suck as a parent, the meltdown now in progress is not Autism in Action it's just a "Normal" 3 year old temper tantrum, and I'm making him act like he has autism. (Not sure what that is supposed to mean).

Dealing with my momsis, (that's their new name, they're joined together in their fight against ME!), is frustrating. It makes me want to scream, curse, cry, and run away to the other side of the country- hell a different country and never see them again. But then I'd miss them, well JD would miss them 1st. But they drive me bat sh&t crazy!  Together they're awful, they really are-- I'm supposed to pray for Autism to be cured, I'm supposed to accept his autism because it's a gift from Angels/God, I'm supposed to believe he doesn't have Autism, and I'm supposed to just let JD do whatever he wants and baby the hell out of him.

Oh and any specific autism therapies- sensory diet, food diet, supplements, behavioral, speech- is bad and I'm not doing what's right for JD. Doing time outs, calming breath exercises, positive reinforcement, redirection, counting in a quiet place until he's calm-- all stuff JD now openly ASKS for when he feels out of control or upset-- apparently they are akin to child abuse in momsis's eyes.

It is so disheartening and frustrating to have to deal with others ignorance. Especially when its family. I am doing the best I can. JD and I are doing much better than we have in terms of managing his behavior problems -in stores, therapy, school, everywhere but when momsis are around. They're the catalyst for Def Con nature! JD is getting better at explaining things and he's even participating in calming himself down by requesting a time out (HUGE, HUGE accomplishment for my little guy) and momsis can't recognize his accomplishments. I get so incredibly tired and angry of having to defend my parenting while trying to bring JD back from shut down city-- where all his major meltdowns become. I wonder sometimes, would it be better for JD to just cut those people who don't understand and who undermine all we're accomplishing or striving for out of his/our life? Is that the answer? And where's that cut off- distant relatives, cousins/aunts, or grandparents/parents, husbands? Guess I have lots of unanswered questions tonight.

Thanks for reading.