To ABA or Not?

This is week 3 of ABA. Yesterday's session did not go well. It was bad. A pinched finger, a bloody lip and mouth, and lots of tears for my baby. And all the hurt and guilt that I don't quite know what to do about. So I ask myself to ABA or Not? Oh you want to hear about the injuries?  Sigh. Ok. I am furious about them. So much so that today, after I'd slept on it, I called his BSC to discuss yesterday's session. Let me back up and tell you some background. It's not as bad as it seems. I know- you're asking Say What? Really- its not as bad. But it does have me second guessing this behavior intervention therapy.

On Tuesdays JD has a male therapist (the only guy, the other 2 are girls) who is young, probably early  20s, he seems shy with me and its hard to interact with him. Mostly because I feel so awkward. I don't want to interrupt the session or do more harm than good, so usually I'll observe from the steps or listen at the doorway from the top of the steps. The sessions are in the basement playroom. I've put in a baby monitor and am restraining myself from setting up a security video camera in there. It is very hard to trust a stranger, especially a man, with your child. So I trust him enough to have a baby monitor in there, the door open at all times, and I observe often throughout the 3 hours. Our Tuesday Therapist isn't as engaging as our other 2 therapists. Maybe it's the maternal instinct, or that it's a school day- I don't know. But it never goes as smoothly.

Mondays and Wednesdays the ABA sessions don't go as bad. The ladies do a good job of redirecting, of letting me know when is a good or bad time for me to interact or interrupt. They even include me in some of the whatever you call them- trials? Whatever you call the exercises. So I feel included and it's teaching me how I should be approaching or parenting to get the positive behaviors.

Back to Tuesday- JD didn't want to put the pieces of Mr. Potato Head together. He did not want to sit at the desk. So the therapist grabbed his hand and forced him to put them on while holding him in his chair with the other hand. It wasn't roughly done per se. But he did accidentally pinch his finger at one point. I saw it. I was sitting on the steps observing. No acknowledgment that he'd hurt him. No notice that his cry of frustration had turned to a pained cry. After that JD ran out and asked me for a hug and a kiss better. Again, no acknowledgement that he'd been hurt.  Then I noticed that JD was soaked- pants  & shirt were wet. WTH? Therapist decided to fill a tub full of water and let JD play with ducks, in my newly carpeted playroom, and then proceeded to not make sure the tot didn't drop the water.  So I had a soaked kid and a soaked carpet for God knows how long before I came down and noticed.  When was he going to mention it, if at all? And how long was my baby wet? Seriously? Come up and let me know for goodness sake! What is wrong with you?  After changing him and getting him back down stairs for the remainder of the session, I was sitting in the living room listening to the session in via the baby monitor.

Then I heard a loud cry of pain-  The one where they lose their voice and then comes the WAIL of PAIN. The one that means REAL PAIN.  I flew off the couch and flew down the steps so fast! My baby was bleeding from the mouth. And the freakin therapist was saying, "Oh you're fine." Then to me- "He bumped himself on the chair."  Uh uh- no more. Me- "We're done."

I took my baby up and took care of the lip and calmed him down. Once calm- "JD, Did you fall?"
JD- "I hurt, boo boo."
Me: "I know, did you fall?"
JD: "Yes."
Me- "Did someone hit you?"
JD: "I hurt, boo boo."
Me: "Therapist name Hit you?" (You have to make sure right?)
JD: "No, I fell." (Mom breathing somewhat easier)
Me: " What were you doing? Playing?"

According to JD, he was jumping up and down on the recliner and he clipped himself on the back of it. So busted up his lip and the inside top of his lip. Lots of blood, lots of pain. He's ok now. But I am livid. I know accidents happen. Hey they happen frequently on my watch. But this is not the 1st injury with our Tuesday guy. After Week 2 of ABA with our Tuesday guy we had a red mark turned bruise on his shoulder from who knows what fall. Is it too much to ask to keep the safety of a ADHD ASD child a primary concern while he writes his notes and conducts the session? And if he doesn't want to grab him then call for me- don't let him jump up and down on a chair, don't let him play with water, don't leave him soaking wet, oh and notice when you're hurting him for Goodness Sake! I'm sorry, I'm frustrated and apparently not yet calm enough.

I did not call the BSC until today- on purpose. For 2 reasons-  I was fuming and I wanted to be objective. I asked hubby and he agreed I should call. This afternoon I had a rational and calm discussion with the BSC. Next week, she will observe the Tuesday session and guarantee your ass I'll be sitting in on the whole session. You have to earn back any trust at this point. You havfe shown that my child is not safe under your supervision dear Tuesday therapist.

Meanwhile we'll continue to ABA while decided whether to Not. I don't know if this is the right approach for JD. Forcing him to do something while sitting- just feels kind of how you break a horse or train a dog. It's a struggle. For now, we'll give ABA a try. It's just starting. Once we're through the rough couple of early weeks, we'll see how it goes. We can decide on an ongoing basis if it's not for us. For now, we'll try it.