Today is the holiday show at my son's school. His class has been practicing their 2 songs and its been tough for my son. Maybe its the diagnosis, maybe he's just stubborn, Whatevs. I discussed it with school and they agreed not to force him. He's been joining the autistic support classroom whenever it gets too much for him. Ironically they don't want to exclude him and I'm wishing they would. LOL. Life.
I purposely did not tell the grandparents because I know my son. I debated on whether or not to go.
One of my girls loved the show. The other one drove me nuts and got her thrills that way. Kindergarten kids comes out, nope not my kiddo. Where was my kiddo? Watching Rudolph in his class. LOL.
I'm not angry. I was a little "woes is me" watching the autistic support classrooms and then the kindergarteners perform. It was bittersweet. It hurt. My eyes teared up. And then I came home and whined to my hubby. Poor guy. Stuck at work listening to my poor us moment. My kiddo would've looked adorable in his Christmas Lego shirt. But ya know he was probably more thrilled with watching tv in school.
Autism changed the path I expected to take. Sometimes it sucks to be hit with the reality that our path is different. It is what it is, and that's okay. C'mon repeat it. Doesn't that approach make it easier?
So what if he didnt want to do the show. Would've been nice, sure. But is it necessary? Will it define him later on? No. There will be plenty of things that JD or the girls will chose not to be a part of. And as they get older maybe they'll one day do the holiday show or actually participate in ballet class. Who knows! But it's going to be their choice and I'm not going to cry because I always dreamed or expected things to be different. I can waste time, tears, and energy over "what could've been" or I can live in the moment and not miss 1 single second of their childhood. Once you let go of "expectations" and of the "shoulds" amazing things happen.
Personally, I'm glad and amazed that he went to school out of uniform. I really think he didn't even notice what I dressed him in this morning.
About Me
- twinglemami in Autismland
- Mommy to lego and minecraft obsessed little boy and twin girls who love dressing in tutus or princess gowns and trying on Mom's makeup. All 3 of my kids have their special talents and strengths and their unique challenges. Autism, Apraxia, Hypotonia, Anxiety, Sensory Processing, Receptive Language Disorder, and IEPs are all a part of the language spoken in this house! Always on the go to one therapy or play date to another support group meeting. . .
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