Yesterday on the way to Zumba my mind wandered and I thought about lost baby #4. I had to pull over and get myself together. Somedays I can process the emotions and be fine. Other days when my mind wanders I start thinking oh he'd be this age, he;d be doing x, y, z. And on those days, its like an emotional tsunami hits me.
I pulled myself together and rushed to class. As I turned left the sun was setting, clusters of pillowy clouds sweeping across the soccer and airport fields. Suddenly the sun burst from that lovely cloud. It was beautiful. And then I still felt sad but accepting of it.
I believe in Heaven, I believe in Good things. And I know that my baby's soul is up happy. And that's okay. And things will be okay. Sometimes there are moments when clouds send us just the right message at just the right moment.
For those of you trying to conceive, getting over a loss, or struggling to maintain a pregnancy-- HUGS. You are not alone and it is not your fault. It sucks and it hurts, HUGS.
About Me
- twinglemami in Autismland
- Mommy to lego and minecraft obsessed little boy and twin girls who love dressing in tutus or princess gowns and trying on Mom's makeup. All 3 of my kids have their special talents and strengths and their unique challenges. Autism, Apraxia, Hypotonia, Anxiety, Sensory Processing, Receptive Language Disorder, and IEPs are all a part of the language spoken in this house! Always on the go to one therapy or play date to another support group meeting. . .
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