Dear Jess:
Tomorrow is your funeral. It seems surreal to me. If I stop and think about it, I’ll burst into tears. I keep checking your facebook page to see if you’ve updated it. People keep tagging and posting pictures of you. Damn it, how is it right that you’re gone? The last time I saw you, you were doing better and out shopping for Tori. That was last summer. You’d just finished up a treatment. We caught up and instantly it was as if we’d last seen each other the day before. But that’s just the type of person you were.
I thought for sure you would beat the f-ing cancer. The last 3 years we’ve kept in touch via facebook or the occasional time we bumped into each other at stores and such. The kids and I always prayed for you, every night. On Sunday, the day you passed away, I said to myself; "wow, I haven’t talked to Jess in a bit, let me see how she’s doing. We don't normally go this long without talking." I was going to shoot you a message but I forgot. I left facebook open to your page. The next morning I woke up to the news on facebook. Oh sweetie, I cried. I hugged my kids close and cried. I called my husband right away and told him "my friend Jess died." I am so sad. Those words seem inadequate. They don’t adequately describe the painful loss. The world is a little bit dimmer and sadder without you. You were most definitely a kindred spirit and someone I valued as a dear friend.
Tomorrow is your funeral. It seems surreal to me. If I stop and think about it, I’ll burst into tears. I keep checking your facebook page to see if you’ve updated it. People keep tagging and posting pictures of you. Damn it, how is it right that you’re gone? The last time I saw you, you were doing better and out shopping for Tori. That was last summer. You’d just finished up a treatment. We caught up and instantly it was as if we’d last seen each other the day before. But that’s just the type of person you were.
I thought for sure you would beat the f-ing cancer. The last 3 years we’ve kept in touch via facebook or the occasional time we bumped into each other at stores and such. The kids and I always prayed for you, every night. On Sunday, the day you passed away, I said to myself; "wow, I haven’t talked to Jess in a bit, let me see how she’s doing. We don't normally go this long without talking." I was going to shoot you a message but I forgot. I left facebook open to your page. The next morning I woke up to the news on facebook. Oh sweetie, I cried. I hugged my kids close and cried. I called my husband right away and told him "my friend Jess died." I am so sad. Those words seem inadequate. They don’t adequately describe the painful loss. The world is a little bit dimmer and sadder without you. You were most definitely a kindred spirit and someone I valued as a dear friend.
I wish I could tell everyone what a wicked sense of humor
you had, how you taught me to call everyone “sweetie” and “honey” because that’s
what you called me. My girls are “sweetie” now and most of my girl friends are
hon or sweetie now. I got that from you. I’d tell everyone about your great smile and
how you’d stick out your tongue, make a face, hand gestures, and you’d go kick
some a## if you had to. How you started
off being a co-worker and became a friend. I'd tell them how happy you were when you got pregnant and how we shared breastfeeding stories and advice. How we shared 1st time mom experiences, when our babies turned 1. This isn't right, it's not right that I am going to my friend's funeral. There are no answers and no reasons to justify this loss.
I so wish you were with us now. I hope the prayers, positive
energy, friendship, and love offered comfort. You will be missed. I will miss
you my friend. Be at peace. And Jess-- Fuck Cancer, I'll miss you hon. Love,
Sweetie
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