Conundrums’

Oh man, an incident report was in the school bag today. I hate them because I know it’s been a bad school day and I wasn’t there for my kiddo. He’s cried and mommy couldn’t hug or kiss better. Quite frankly it makes me feel like a sh*tty mom. I’m a mixture of anger, frustration, embarrassment, and sorrow. Apparently the substitute TSS didn’t show up on Friday. Don’t even get me started! The bus was late picking him up (again, let’s not go there), he arrived a half hour late and missed story time. JD has transitioning issues and they are made worse when he misses an activity at school.

I understand where the teacher is coming from. I get it, I know she’s doing the best she can, underpaid, understaffed, over ratio with attendance, I like his school and the staff, he’s had phenomenal progress while there, but dammit I’m looking forward to the new school in September. I hate that I feel like my kid is an oversight amidst the other special needs classmates. And I can’t help but feel like somehow we get the short end of the stick just because he’s labeled high functioning. Then I feel like a bigger sh*t because I’m whining about the care/attention he’s getting when there’s other kids who need more care/attention. Am I making sense? But I can’t focus on the other kids, because well they’re not my kids. And I can’t focus on being fair to everyone, because well they’re not my kids. My only goal is to be the voice and support for my kids. But then I feel selfish.

So either way I feel like a sh*T. And that my dear is how I’m ending this.

Conundrums’