Potty Train, Hands off the P. . .

You know how we're potty training all 3 over here in Twingle house? I'm not crazy, just being practical! The girls are walking so why not? Apple's speech therapist inspired me. She has a client who has down syndrome, non verbal I believe and can't hold herself upright but she's potty trained. She's younger than my girls, so if that baby can be potty trained surely my 3 can be too! I was inspired and I'm on a mission to get out of diapers. It's expensive to have 3 kids in diapers. We buy 2 cases of diapers a month on our tight budget. I NEED them to be potty trained! But will I survive the training?

My goal was to potty train while we were on our 3 week break in August. Well that didn't work. So now we started with school. We are using Good Nights and Pull Ups, no diapers because he's a big boy and big boys use the potty train. http://www.amazon.com/The-Potty-Train-David-Hochman/dp/1416928332- Great book. I think I know it by heart.

Our routine- Potty in the morning, twice at school, before & after each meal, before bath time at night. If he actually goes in the potty he gets 2 stickers to put on his reward chart ($2.00 for stickers & chart at the dollar section in Target). 1 sticker if he sits on the potty the whole time (meaning I don't have to chase his naked butt down the hallway). We read all 3 of his "potty" books while he sits in the potty & we sing the ABCs and he can get up when he's done singing. Sometimes (AHEM, Usually) he fights sitting on the potty. Once we've wrestled and he's sitting we fight about getting off, flushing over and over, unrolling and throwing toilet paper, putting stickers on the toilet seat, kicking the bathroom door, yelling. Its all sorts of fun. Oh and the new one-- squirting while peeing because its like a "hose". Good Lord child! Once I'm exhausted and whimpering  I have to sit the girls on the potty too.

Last night I went in to check on the kids before I went to bed--JD was soaked! JD and his fascination with all things underneath the pullups and good nights- yes I do mean that. He says it feels nice, I guess so. Well it causes leaks when the pullups aren't pulled back into place. I changed him and he slept through it all! Now to wash the sheets again. It's become a daily morning routine. I consider it a win if I can get him to sit in the potty most days. A morning where he sits in the potty and transitions to school without a scream, kick, or argument? Priceless. At least we don't get "looks" in the parking lot. Well we do, but only because I star in my own baby parade with the stroller and the tot. Not the other type of look where I'm the bad parent.

I leave you with our newest funny and one my hubby will probably wish I hadn't shared but you guys get it right? We have to laugh.

Since we switched to pull ups and Good nights:
"Buddy its private and not in the store ok?" And there he is hands in his pants at the check out. Usually happens there for some reason, guess when he gets bored. Go ahead, its funny. He does it while he's watching tv too. "Buddy that's private, only in your room." Oh and this prompted an interesting conversation about our stance on masturbation, religion, and calling body parts by proper name. My stance-- its all good unless you're hurting someone or can get arrested for public indecency/lewdness. So gotta teach buddy boy that it's private!

Apparently my "stranger touch" conversation was a bit too confining. His teacher and my sister were told by Buddy Boy that "don't touch my penis, only mommy and daddy." Hmm, need to add unless its the doctor, teacher, or family. "Mama, Ms. Teacher can't touch penis,its not good. JD is better." JD speak for they can't touch me, only I can."

Strolling along anywhere "Buddy, hands in pockets."-- it sounds better than "Don't touch your Penis." If I keep saying that in stores I'm going to get looks.

Oh and in case I haven't said this enough, I don't give a flying F*ck about anyone's opinion on my parenting. I am doing the best I can, I might never win Mom of the year, I'm sure I screw up at least 10 times a day, I might never win Wife of the year either. But I love my kids and my hubby and I'm doing the best I can. Until you live here and walk the walk, stop talking out of your a**. Nobody gives a damn about your unhelpful and often ignorant opinion.-- Yes Dear Lady at the Walmart, this is for you.