Cooper Cat goes to Heaven

Last night hubby found our Cooper Cat slumped in the litter box. Then he noticed he was walking unsteady. So we crated him and brought him up to the dining room where JD was fascinated with having his buddy in a crate and in the dining room. For the past several years we've kept the cats confined to the basement and most recently to the heated garage and laundry area because JD loves to pull their tails and their fur.

Just before I took the kids up to bed I told JD to leave Cooper alone.
Me: "Cooper is sick. He's sleeping."
JD: "Oh no, he has to go to the doctor!"
Me: "Yes, he's sleeping. C'mon let's go upstairs, bath time."
JD: "Good bye Cooper, Cooper's going to sleep."

After a lot of excitement, the craziness of bath and bedtime, I took Cooper Cat to the animal hospital in Langhorne, PA. Two hours later hubby and I said good bye to Coopie Kitty as he went to sleep forever. It was very sad. As we each drove back in our cars, crazy thoughts go through your head. It's nearly midnight and I realize Cooper is the 2nd cat that I've lost to diabetes. I hate diabetes--it kills you, it ravages your body, affects all your muscles and organs, eventually shutting everything down slowly, you fill up with acid and liquid and its painful. People who don't take diabetes seriously are just plain stupid because it's a killer and completely preventable (Type 2) & treatable.

Last night hubby and I wondered how and when we'd have to tell JD that Cooper was dead. We decided to handle it as you would a typical kid. As far as we know there's no special way to tell this to a ASD kid, I'm sure there's a social story somewhere on this. But we felt JD might understand it if I explained at his language age. Plus he does seem to understand what "dead" is, not sure if he understands the permanence- but I think that's fairly typical at this age.

This morning as he's coming down the steps-
JD: "Oh no, Coopie is gone!" He didn't see the crate and was upset. I guess he figured Cooper would still be there. Although Cooper would normally be in the basement.
Me: "Yes, baby. Cooper is gone." Hmm, here goes. Deep breath, tread slowly.
JD: "He's downstairs?" Eye contact and hope in his eyes and I just want to cry.
Me: "No, he's in heaven, he's gone." Clearly doesn't know what heaven is, he's thinking. I give him a moment.

Cooper sleeping with Molly

JD: "He's with Molly? With grand mom?"  We gave our dog to my sister-in-law and her girlfriend at  Christmas. At first we explained that Molly went to live with his aunt at the far away farm. But he didn't understand who that was so we ended up telling him that Molly now lived with grand mom. We gave him a familiar face to go with the permanence of the change. So now he thinks all pets who leave our house go with grand mom-- don't ask, the mind of a 3 year old! You gotta use whatever works. He asks for Molly now and then and seems to understand that she's living with someone else now. I show him pics or videos that my sister-in-law occasionally posts online.
Me: "No baby, Cooper is gone forever. He's in heaven with God."
JD: "Coopie no want to go with God! I'm mad!"
Me: "Do you want a hug?
JD: "Yes, I'm sad. Oh no, Cooper is gone. He's going home." Home to JD seems to mean gone away. He didn't cry but he was clearly upset and very sad. Cooper was the only cat to greet him, the other 2 are kind of feral.

At school today, the 1st thing he say to his teacher-
JD: "Ms. Nicole, Cooper is in Heaven, he's gone!" Still upset.
I had to explain to her what had gone on 10 minutes before at our house. Deep breath! So that's how I explained how Cooper went to Heaven. And we're all still upset.

Cooper sandwiched between Benny & Jerry